Sources of Guilt

Before starting a blog that nobody reads, Spook used to have a Youtube channel that people actually did watch. Technically he still has it. He just hasn’t updated in about four years.

Spook bought into the LPer craze of the midyears, and threw in with the Youtube LPers. LP here, meaning ‘Let’s Play.’

Let’s Play is a concept for making a video, wherein the video maker plays a video game, and records it in some means, either by video or by screenshot, so that people observing can experience the sensation of playing along with the Lets Player or LPer.

Some people use LPs to show their prowess, some to show off an encyclopedic exegesis of the game, and some use it to show their web personas or reactions. Some LPers though, embrace the old ethos that I used to.

Imagine it’s the late 80s. The NES is a big thing, basements all around the country have one of these plugged in. Usually in the basement because that’s where a ‘spare’ tv was. A lot of the NES library was multiplayer games, but some, some were single player games. So if a friend came over and wanted to see a game like say, Dragon Warrior, you had to either switch off and go outside (we did that in those days), play something else (lame!), or alternatively, you’d sit and watch the other fellow play the game while giving advice, or shouting out warnings, or making fun of him. That, to me, is what an ideal Lets Play is. You inviting people into your basement to play with you.

But in a wholesome way. Not in a.. You know what? Bad phrase. Its letting someone play a video game with you. Its even in the name. Let's play is short for 'let us play.'

With that mindset, I made my first LP. It was for Deus Ex Invisible War. I picked it because I didn’t see any LPs for it on Youtube. Since that time, there are several. It was amateur. I didn’t know how to edit, I talked over cut scenes, my sound quality was terrible and in general, it’s kind of garbage. But, becoming a successful LPer isn’t always about quality. Mind, I define ‘successful lper’ as ‘lper people watch.’I never tried to get money, even during my height.

Becoming a successful LPer is about being there. Routine upload schedules. Standard quality. Respect for people watching you. A LPer who uploads on a regular basis gets viewers, gets very loyal viewers because he’s inviting people over to his house to play video games on a regular basis, as if they were his friends. And even if they're occasional jerks, people put up with it. People put up with their friend's foibles.

Around four years ago, I stopped making LPs. I keep trying to get back into it, but its hard and my attempts are usually abortive. I stopped making them for numerous reasons: Family health issues, Changes at Work, Increased Time, Noise. I never lost the desire to make them, just the time and opportunity.

And occasionally when I look at my Youtube account, I see comments about people wondering where I went, what happened to me, and it breaks my heart. I mean that seriously. I feel like I've let them down.

These people want to sit on the carpet in my basement and watch me play video games. And I’m letting them down. I didn't even give them closure, just a half finished, half assed LP of Kentucky Route Zero, and then nothing.

If any of you, my watchers and subscribers happen to find your way here. Know that I always appreciated you. I always enjoyed making my videos knowing you guys would watch them, make fun of them, or enjoy them some other way.

Know that I feel guilty about stopping. Hopefully one day, with my crappy 17 dollar copy of FRAPS and my sub-optimal Virtualdub compression software, I can once again hit you guys with shitty LPs. 

In the meantime, thank you again.Forgive me for seemingly abandoning you.